Worldwide Friendships

This post goes out to anyone who has traveled, lived abroad, had a best friend move, been in a long distance relationship, or simply those of you who have friends or family in another country. Let’s talk about that thing that we always try to avoid when thinking about these people. That thing that tends to stop us from giving that hug to the person in our hearts. That thing that makes it so hard to return home after traveling or living abroad. That thing being DISTANCE.

Distance is so tricky, and I don’t think I will ever be able to be at peace with this word. When I am abroad, that means my family will be the ones at the distance. Missing your mom while abroad will always be a terribly hard task to learn to deal with (says the girl who used to chase after her mom’s car on the school ground, “MOMMY DON’T GO!”). This means that even when I am abroad living my dream, surrounded by loved ones and those I have missed ever since I first left them, I now have a different problem regarding distance. It now means that I’m far from my parents, my amazing sister, all my cousins, aunts, uncles and of course, my grandparents. Even though they may think that it’s easy for me to up and leave them, it’s really not. I miss seeing my little cousins grow up, being there to support my family and share memories with them. Same goes for my friends from home, although I know they’d never “forget me”, it does kinda feel that way at times. So much changes and I can’t help but feel like I’m on the outside of things again once I’m home. Even though Skype and other technologies have made it so easy to communicate with them while abroad, it’s still not the same.

Now, the hardest part of all… The entire year I lived in Ecuador, I made so many amazing friendships and very close relationships. People who I had an immediate connection with, people that made me think, “wow, I feel like I was meant to meet you”. While there, I obviously lived in the moment, lived each moment to the fullest and absorbed every experience. However, in the back of my mind there was always that lingering question, “How am I ever going to be able to leave you?”. The question that I tried to avoid at all costs because I was never ready to deal with that heartbreak. This question was always what stopped me from letting myself fall in love or become too attached to new friends. It’s a shame though, because the heart truly does want what the heart wants. There’s no stopping that.

I remember the day I had to say my goodbyes, I cried like a baby. It was so difficult. Not just because I was going to miss them (DUH), but also for a deeper reason. I was going to miss the person that I was in Ecuador. The confident girl who made such meaningful relationships with these people. I remember sitting in the airport waiting to board my plane and thinking, “wow, I don’t have friendships like this at home”. I really don’t know what was different about the people I met in Ecuador, but I felt the love, kindness and sincerity that I didn’t always feel in the relationships I have with people back home. I connected with people on a different level, about things that are actually important in life. Things like war, poverty, religion, etc. things that nobody freely talks about at home without getting into an argument. These people let me into their hearts in such a pure way, and I know that they all genuinely care about me. If they ask me how I am, it’s because they truly want to know if I’m okay, not just because it’s a question that they’re expected to ask (which is often the case with people at home, it’s really just a conversation starter).

I am not the same person at home. I find myself thinking about these people in Ecuador. It tends to occupy pretty much all the space in my mind and heart. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about the people I am surrounded by on the daily here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and they are the most important people in my life. But things are different at home. Everyone is worried about their own things, work, school, friends, money, etc. And I honestly don’t think I will ever be content again living here. I feel sick listening to people talk about material things. I don’t judge anyone for that, not everyone has seen the things I’ve seen or met the people I’ve met. But having to sit and pretend to be enthused by someone talking about spending $1000 on a purse or dress really gets my mind going.

I could be surrounded by people here, yet still feel so alone. A feeling I never had while in Ecuador. But that’s nobody’s fault but my own.

The truth is, I’ll always choose a simple life over a materialistic one. I will always choose those with the biggest heart over those with the biggest wallet. As I feel it should be. With this said, I can’t help but forget about the fact that I have left my heart there, with someone who I don’t know when I will see next. This is the hardest part of all. Maybe that will disappoint my family, maybe people will never understand how my mind or heart works….well that makes two of us, because I don’t quite understand it myself.

Some friendships really are worth every mile that separates you. There’s something to be said about distance…something positive for a change….it really does prove which friendships are true, whose love is sincere and genuine, and it makes you appreciate certain people’s presence in your life even more.

“Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we are able to spend together and distance teaches us the definition of patience. It is a reminder that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished.”

Thanks for reading!! If you can relate I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings.

Paz y amor
-E